Birthdays

The wanted poster birthday gift, ready tonight

Birthdays have a deadline and a room full of witnesses. That combination is exactly what a wanted poster is built for: it is funny in the moment it is unwrapped, it photographs well on a table of cards, and unlike almost every other joke gift it is still on a wall a year later.

Wording that matches the age

The same joke does not work at eighteen and at sixty. As a rule, the tone should move from mockery towards tribute as the number goes up — the roast is funniest when the person is still convinced they are getting away with everything.

Birthday	Tone	Wanted for…
18th	Mock authority.	Wanted for being legally responsible for himself since Tuesday
21st	Celebrate the mischief.	Wanted in every bar within a two-mile radius
30th	The first real milestone.	Wanted for pretending she still recovers like she is 25
40th	Respect with a wink.	Wanted for forty years and still not caught
50th	Warmth over roast.	Wanted for half a century of terrible advice, all of it taken
60th and up	Tribute, plainly.	Wanted, and worth every penny of the reward

Swap in something only their friends would know and it improves immediately. The mechanics of writing that line are in the name, crime and reward guide, and there are more worked examples in fifteen gift concepts.

Timing, honestly

This is the part that decides which version you buy, and it has nothing to do with which is better.

Tonight or tomorrow: digital only. Download, print, done.
This weekend: digital, and take the PDF to a copy shop for heavier paper.
More than a week away: either. A shipped print arrives in 3–5 business days.

If you are printing it yourself, the paper and printer settings that make the difference between an antique and a fax are set out on the printable poster page. For a desk-sized gift, the A4 format page covers framing on the cheap.

Handing it over

Rolled, with string

Costs nothing, looks like a document that has travelled. Unrolling it in front of people is half the joke.

Framed, hidden until dessert

Hung on the wall while they are out of the room. They find it themselves, which is funnier than watching them open it.

Pinned around the venue

Print six copies and put them where the person will keep bumping into them. The licence covers unlimited prints of your own poster.

Signed like a card

Leave the margin blank and pass a pen round the table. The poster becomes the guest book.

Birthday questions

The birthday is tomorrow. Is this still possible?

Yes, that is the main reason people choose the digital version. Build the poster, pay $4.95, download the file and print it at home or at any copy shop. Nothing has to be shipped.

Will it work for a child's birthday?

It works well, with two adjustments: keep the crime silly rather than sarcastic, and make the reward absurd. A million dollars for a seven-year-old bandit lands better than a realistic number.

What if I want it printed and wrapped?

Printed posters on museum-grade cotton are an optional add-on from $19.99, shipped in 3–5 business days. Order it when you have the week; otherwise print the file yourself.

Can I make one for a group birthday?

Yes. One poster per person, made separately, printed as a set. The volume discount applies from the second poster onwards, and a row of matching frames turns it into a party feature.

Other occasions are covered on the gift ideas hub, and if the humour is the part you are unsure about, read how to make the joke land.

Make it before the candles go on

Upload the photo, write the crime, set the reward. Free watermarked preview, then the clean 300 DPI file for $4.95.

Make the birthday poster — $4.95